Hi Reader,

How are you doing on your new year's intentions?

We're three weeks into the year and I am looking at my 10 commandments - my operating system for the year - and can't help noticing a pattern that keeps showing up at the intersection of three of them: I choose ease. I am obsessed with clarity. I put my shoes on (I don't wait for permission).

I keep catching myself mid-sentence, correcting from "Shall we [...]?" to "Let's [...]."

At first I was too slow. I'd hit send on "Shall we?" and immediately feel the weight of it. Another open loop. Another decision I've handed to someone else. Another reply I'll need to track. Another moment where I chose accommodation over clarity, where I waited for permission instead of putting my shoes on.

While a question may sound collaborative, open, flexible, maybe even professionally polite (because not pushy), it is also creating work. Quite a lot actually.

"Shall we meet Thursday?" opens a negotiation. It puts the decision in your court. It signals that I haven't done the work of having an opinion. It says: you figure this out.

"Let's meet Thursday at 2pm" is a proposal. You can accept it or counter it, but at least there's something concrete to work with. I've done the cognitive labour of deciding. I've taken a position. I've put my shoes on.

I'm not trying to stop asking questions but wondering how often I'm hiding behind "shall we" because I'm either afraid of being too much or lazy to take a decision? What looks like politeness can actually be permission-seeking dressed-up as collaboration. But actually it's just a burden.

The shift is small. Shall we → Let's. But the impact compounds. Fewer emails. Less cognitive overhead. More flow. More ease.

This is how my commandments work in practice and I am somehow proud to already see a shift, even if small.

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🎤 Waiting for you on the Unprofessionalism podcast:

What comes to mind when you think about being “professional”? Fast, certain, composed, always ready with an answer. But those reflexes weren’t born in today’s world. They were forged in factories and on battlefields, where control, compliance, and speed kept systems running.

In this episode, liminal coach, AI-enthusiast, and possibilitarian Mike Parker invites us to trace that origin story and ask whether those habits still help. We hold the past up to the present: modern work that depends on curiosity, synthesis, care, and the courage to say “I don’t know.”

Together we explore what shifts when we stop chasing certainty and start practising wisdom—protecting real thinking, letting not-knowing lead to better decisions, and using AI to widen possibilities without outsourcing judgment. More than a history lesson, this is an invitation to trade fear-polish for trust, presence, and purpose so people can create better, together.

Find out about:

• How industrial-age rules still shape “professional” behavior—and what to keep, update, or retire
• Why depth beats speed: the role of calm, daydreaming, and the default-mode network in insight
• Creating rooms where questions lead, learning is visible, and inclusion isn’t performative
• Using AI as an expander for divergent options while keeping humans at the center

🎧 Click here to listen to the interview

📥 Download my 1-page summary

​UP_002_Summary.pdf​

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🎧 The workshops work Podcast Club

Do you miss the workshops work podcast? Join the first gathering of the Podcast Club by joining my Substack: https://myriamhadnes.substack.com/​

January 28th, we will gather around the theme of Polarisation in Facilitation.

​Click here to sign up for free.

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That's it from my side. I hope you find your own small shifts. I wish you clarity and ease. Hope to see you next week!

Myriam

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