Dear Reader, I came back from ten days of silence on Sunday. No phone. No writing. No reading. No podcasts. Just long hours of sitting, scanning sensations, and noticing how quickly the mind wants things to be different. Less pain. More comfort. A way out. Vipassana calls the practice equanimity. The capacity to stay with sensation as it is, without craving when it’s pleasant and without aversion when it’s unpleasant. Not suppressing. Not indulging. Simply noticing. When we stop feeding our...
13 days ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, By the time you read this, I’ll be sitting in silence. Today will be day six out of ten. Ten hours of meditation a day. No phone, no notebook, no book, no calendar. Just me, my breath, and whatever Goenka has to say about observing sensations without reacting to them. It’s my sixth Vipassana (listen to my insights after the last), which means I should know by now that the first two days feel excruciating. My mind throws a tantrum like a toddler whose iPad has been taken away....
20 days ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, I said yes. Too quickly. Again. And here I am, looking at the pile of broken glass, wondering what I could have done differently. Isn't it ironic that I'm a facilitator who literally teaches people how to work together. And still, I fell into the oldest trap in the book. Someone invited me to collaborate on something exciting. I felt flattered. My gut told me to slow down, to have a real conversation about how we'd work together. But I didn't want to be the difficult one....
27 days ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, How do you know whether the group you're speaking to is engaged or not? Last week I was facilitating a workshop on the basics of facilitation for a new community. I asked a question. Silence. Everyone stayed on mute. I tried another prompt. More silence. But people had their cameras on and smiled—they were clearly engaged, just not speaking. I've written about the sound of silence in facilitation, and this week Yuko shares the Japanese perspective on it in the podcast. But last...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, Do you avoid difficult conversations? The 'constructive' feedback? The cancellation of an appointment? The ask for a raise? If so, what's the story you tell yourself when you do? What if they won't like me? What if they get angry? What if they push back or shut down or accuse me of making things bigger than they are? What if they dismiss what I say? What if they think I'm the problem? What if I actually am??? As I've observed not only my own responses but those of participants in...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, What did you hide about yourself at work today? Recently, a client asked whether I could host a workshop. Normally, I’d check my calendar and if I am not available on that date, I'd respond with something neutral and suggesting alternatives. This time, I didn't need to check my calendar because I knew the reason I was unavailable. Without overthinking, I told them: “I won't be free that day because I’ll be at the municipality with my fiancée to register our wedding.” Within...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, When was the last time you started from scratch? For me it was last week, and I almost cheated. I'd just joined Substack—a platform where writers share their thoughts without the pressure of personal branding or selling. It seemed like the perfect home for my podcast archive and this newsletter. As a way of making myself comfortable, I imported not only my full podcast archive but also my subscriber list. And it was with pride that I looked at the number of 6,000 next to my name....
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, I thought my podcast was diverse… until I actually looked at the guest list: Most of them looked like me, spoke like me, came from the same cultural bubble. What a confronting realisation! Not because I’d done something wrong, but because I hadn’t even noticed. If I’m perfectly honest, I wasn’t aware of the reason behind my unconscious bias until an upcoming guest asked whether I’d hosted other Indigenous facilitators. I surprised both of us with my very honest: I may have...
2 months ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, On Sunday, I almost missed my first marathon 😳 After sixteen weeks of training, I nearly missed the start because I arrived five minutes late. I’d adjusted my schedule, diet, sleep — everything. Yet there I was, begging the security guard to let me through with another late runner from the US. He eventually waved us in. Crossing that starting line already felt like we’d made it 🏆 and back then I wasn't aware of all the lessons I'd learn that had nothing to do with the run. For...
2 months ago • 3 min read