Dear Reader,

How are you, Reader, really?

It’s such an innocent question and, at the same time, such a complex one. How often do we answer it with full honesty?

Asked on a good day? Sure. It’s easy to say we’re doing great when we are.
But on a bad day? Maybe not.
And when the question comes from a manager who’s noticed our performance drop? Probably not at all.

Most likely, their intention is good.

Like the manager in one of my recent trainings on challenging conversations. Following leadership advice, they scheduled a 1-1 with a team member — they’d sensed something was off and wanted to check in to show care and support.

To their surprise, they didn't get anything back. Just a polite deflection. I'm good, no worries.

What we often get wrong is that it's not the question that makes someone feel seen, heard and cared for. The question is what exposes them. We intend to create safety, but in reality, we demand honesty - during a potentially difficult situation.

Most probably, something is going on — at home, in their head, with their health. Or with us.

We often forget how vulnerable it is to respond to even the kindest question, especially when we don’t know why the person is asking and whether our answer may backfire. Is the person asking ready to hear our truth?

I learned that if I want an honest answer, I don’t just ask a better question. I go first.

Not by sharing my own struggles to “match” theirs — this isn’t the Vulnerability Olympics. But by being transparent about my intention. By showing why I care.

Why do I really want to know how someone is doing? Maybe because I’ve noticed a shift and I’m second-guessing my leadership. Are they avoiding me? I’d share that I’m not sure if I handled something poorly and I’ve been replaying it in my head. Maybe because their energy feels different in meetings. I’d say I’ve sensed you’re holding back and I’m not sure if it’s the space, the topic, or something else. Maybe because they’re usually the one who keeps things light - and lately, they’ve gone quiet. I’d say I miss your voice in the room. It matters more than you might think.

That’s the bit that creates safety.
That’s the bit that says: “It’s okay not to be okay and I’m here to listen.”

And weirdly, it’s that part we skip most often. It's easy to ask the question. It's scary to share why we care.

🎙 Meanwhile, on the podcast…

For every word we swallow, every moment we dilute ourselves, and every time we say ‘yes’ when really, we want to say ‘no’, we collect a pebble into our backpack of life.

The fantastic duo that is Pete Jordan and Tuulia Syvänen from Honesty Europe join us this week to help us offload these pebbles: showing us the way to live lightly, freely, and in a radical act of resistance, to be ourselves! We explore honesty as a practice of presence, we dig at the roots of interpersonal triggers, and most important of all - we learn how to ask for what we want, when we’ve been conditioned not to - even if it means dancing in the face of rejection.

If you’re a chronic people pleaser perpetually in search of the peace, this conversation is for you!

Find out about:

• Learning to ask people to meet our needs - whether the answer is yes, or no
• The act of expressing suppressed emotions, to clear space for deeper connection
• How to tune into bodily sensations and remain present, during vulnerable interactions or boundary setting
• Why a little discomfort is the price we must pay to be true to ourselves
• How to acknowledge personal judgements in a way that diffuses their power

🎧 Click here to listen to the interview

📥 Check out my 1-page summary

​WW_Episode_317-summary.pdf​

👀 Watch the unedited interview on Youtube

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That’s it from my side! I hope you enjoy the content and find inspiration in the stories and podcast. I wish you small moments of brave honesty — the kind that make it easier for others to breathe. See you next week!

Myriam

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