I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
Pacified by our Phones || 🎙️ Episode 326 on Leaders who Listen
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Dear Reader, What do you do when they’re on their phones? In last week’s training I delivered, one of the participants shared how much it annoyed them when others used their phones during a session. It felt disrespectful, they said. We explored ways to handle it. One person suggested naming it in the ground rules. Someone offered a tactic to bring the group’s attention back. What stuck with me wasn’t the strategies — it was the phone itself. Or rather, the role it plays. Because I do it too. That instinctive reach — the small act of comfort when something inside feels unsettled. It took me a while to recognise the pattern. Sometimes it’s obvious: someone says something, and I feel a flicker of discomfort. Almost without thinking, I check my email, refresh the news, swipe to nowhere. In online meetings it’s even sneakier — tabs open quietly, messenger windows pop up. Some make a joke when the silence stretches "too long". In arguments with my partner, I often stand up and start tidying. Clearing the kitchen bench — as if order out there could restore calm in here. It’s more than distraction. It’s regulation. Control. A way to soothe ourselves when things feel tense or uncertain. That phone — what if it was an adult's form of a pacifier? A participant checking their phone might not be bored or rude — they might just be overwhelmed or unsure how to participate. The person who hijacks the agenda could be grasping for clarity in a conversation that feels too open-ended. The one asking again and again, “What exactly do you want from me?” — maybe that’s their version of straightening the spice rack. We all have our second-best tools. Familiar gestures that help us feel safe when we don’t yet have the language or capacity to stay with the discomfort. And yet, we often judge others for doing exactly what we do — just in a different disguise. And from there, compassion can emerge and the understanding that most people aren’t trying to check out or lacking respect. They’re trying to stay in, the only way they know how. 🎙 Meanwhile, on the podcast…One of the greatest paradoxes of leadership is that to lead well, you must learn to let go. To get comfortable with not having all the answers! To release your grip, relinquish control, and know that the wisdom already exists in everyone around you. Professor, coach and facilitator to the next generation of leaders, Rob Lion has spent the last 20 years fostering self-leading workplace cultures that truly listen to their people, building leaders that are facilitators at heart. Because the best leaders? They’ve taken off the stabilisers of delegation, left their ego at the door, and learnt the delicate dance of stepping back, to invite others to step in. Find out about:
🎧 Click here to listen to the interview 📥 Check out my 1-page summary 👀 Watch the unedited interview on Youtube 📌 Find podcast episodes that match your needsDid you know? You can search all episodes by keyword on our Buzzsprout page to find exactly what you need. Click here to find the episodes by keyword. 🔖 Inspiration at Your Fingertips: Get the Podcast Summary eBooksAre you looking for inspiration for your next workshop or guidance on which podcast episode to explore next? Discover the eBooks compiling summaries of all 300 “Workshops Work” podcast episodes—a rich collection of facilitation insights and practical tips. These digital coffee table books are perfect for sparking new ideas or delving deeper into workshop best practices. Click here to get your copies. That’s it from my side! I hope you enjoy the content and find inspiration in the stories and the podcast. I wish you just enough awareness to catch your own second-best tools in action — and greet them with curiosity. I'll see you next week! Myriam
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How can we facilitate collaboration?
I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
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