Dear Reader,

How do you know whether the group you're speaking to is engaged or not?

Last week I was facilitating a workshop on the basics of facilitation for a new community. I asked a question. Silence. Everyone stayed on mute. I tried another prompt. More silence. But people had their cameras on and smiled—they were clearly engaged, just not speaking.

I've written about the sound of silence in facilitation, and this week Yuko shares the Japanese perspective on it in the podcast. But last week's silence felt different.

When I mentioned that in my sessions I never ask questions with right or wrong answers, activity in the chat increased. Something shifted.

But with the next prompt: same silence. Maybe my prompt was off. Too easy? Too complex?

There's a moment in facilitation (and in life, actually) when you either keep pushing through the script or you say what's actually happening. I've learned (often the hard way) that the second option saves everyone time.

So I paused and said: "I'm noticing the chat is alive but no one speaks. I have two hypotheses. Either the recording is making you cautious, or there's something about the culture of this community where speaking up feels unusual."

And then the chat exploded! It was actually both. While nobody unmuted, it felt like a relief and an invitation to engage differently.

Once we named it, we could work with it. The silence that followed felt chosen rather than awkward.

Voices emerged. Not many, not loudly, but enough to shift the atmosphere from "performing participation" to "being together."

It was a good reminder of how often we misread each other in groups. We fill the silence with stories about ourselves: I asked the wrong thing. I should have framed it better. I must be losing them. When sometimes all it takes is naming what's already in the room and letting people confirm or correct it.

This group's silence could have been a screen of black squares with cameras off. We don't know what's happening until we ask.

When do you fill the silence with stories about your own inadequacy instead of simply asking what's actually happening?

🎙 Meanwhile, on the podcast…

Silence is a virtue, and nowhere is this more deeply understood than in Japan. A pause rich with meaning, where thoughts are carefully explored, emotions are quiet, and things are said, without any words at all.

So, how do facilitators hold space amidst the subtlety? Facilitator, workshop designer, and coach, Yuko Gendo invites us into the beautifully unique world of Japanese facilitation this week, as a practice shaped by deep respect, harmony, and quiet reflection.

She shares how non-verbal cues can soften emotional expression, how consensus forms through alignment, not debate, and together we compare our cultural experiences as two facilitators from opposite sides of the world. Join us!

Find out about:

• The cultural values of silence, hierarchy and emotional restraint, and their role in Japanese facilitation
• How Yuko navigates the tension between group harmony and individual expression
• The use of indirect expressions through cards, visuals and metaphor, in place of direct speach
• What Western facilitators can learn from their Japanese counterparts

🎧 Click here to listen to the interview

📥 Check out my 1-page summary

​WW_Episode_349-summary.pdf​

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👀 Watch the interview on Youtube​

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🎙️ Join the Conversation

On Thursday this week, I am hosting a gathering for and with workshops work listeners and facilitators to explore the idea of a podcast club. If you have enjoyed the podcast and wondered who else is listening, this is your time to find out :-)

​Click here to join us for free.

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That’s it from my side! I hope you enjoy the content and find inspiration in the stories and the podcast, especially if you’ve ever wondered what silence in a room is really saying. I’ll see you next week!

Myriam

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