The Voice That Kills Curiosity || 🎀 Episode 4: The Business of Belonging with Jon Berghoff


Dear Reader,

How can we turn our worst critic into our very best friend? I might have found a way!

Last week, I hosted the first gathering of the workshops work Podcast Club. We had a full house, with the two featured guests from the episodes as well as other podcast guests and 'big names'. Some joined at 4 am. I was properly nervous!

The conversations were splendid. People were present. Nearly everyone had actually listened to the episodes. They came ready to share, to learn from and with each other. The kind of gathering I hoped for.

Next thing I knew, Thursday morning arrived and I woke up drowning in should-could-would.

I should have asked better questions. I could have structured it differently. If only I would have allowed more space for...

Not good enough. Never good enough.

You know this voice. We all do. Our biggest critic sits in our own head. It shows up right after we've done something that matters, something vulnerable. It masquerades as helpful reflection, as professionalism, as "high standards".

It was only while journaling that I noticed an amazing shift: As soon as I asked myself for a different perspective, I became curious and had simple ideas for improvement.

As long as I listened to that critical voice, there was no space for actual learning.

The critic doesn't care about other people. It's extremely selfish. While the critic sounds productive, it's actually paralysis dressed up as perfectionism. It keeps me focused on my performance instead of on what actually happened in the room, what people experienced, what emerged between us.

We cannot be curious and critical at the same time.

Still, we can't silence the critic and we don't want to because they are helping is. Let's thank them for their care instead. They're trying to protect us from not being good enough, from letting people down, from being an impostor. But they don't have to run the show. They can step aside and let curiosity step into the room.

​

🎀 Waiting for you on the Unprofessionalism podcast:

For this week's episode, I talked with Jon Berghoff, who does his best work barefoot. (Literally!)

Jon, Founder of xchange, spent his early years filled with doubt and displacement, convinced he didn't belong. Now he helps people speak their truth and connect to something bigger than themselves. We talked about the risks he's taken to get there, and what it actually takes to feel safe enough to be yourself in a room.

It's a conversation about nervous system regulation, self-doubt, and what happens when you stop performing and start showing up.

🎧 Click here to listen to the interview

πŸ“₯ Download my 1-page summary

​UP_004_Summary.pdf​

​

🎧 The workshops work Podcast Club

Last week, we gathered for the first time around two workshops work podcast episodes and the topic: polarities in facilitation. I was surprised, touched and excited to see our two featured guests Benjamin Taylor and Jo Nelson among the participants. For some it was 4 am for others it was late in the evening already. The conversations were rich and reflective, weaving threads and marking differences between the two very different episodes we'd listened to as preparation.

If you want to join the February edition on group dynamics, all you have to do is to subscribe to my free Substack.

​Click here for more information and to sign up for free.

​

​

That's it from my side. I hope you enjoy the podcast conversation with Jon and find valuable insights for your own journey. I wish you to find the switch to turn the inner critic into curiosity. Hope to see you next week!

Myriam

​

---------------------
​We build collaborative cultures - one Workshop at a time. Click here to find out how.
​
Tailored 1-1 support: A 75-minute intensive session to clarify your workshop design and delivery.
​
Resources that will help you make workshops work.

​

​Click here to support the podcast with a donation.
​
---------------------

How can we facilitate collaboration?

I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.

Read more from How can we facilitate collaboration?

Hi Reader, When you step into a new shop, how do they win your trust? Last week I had an unprofessional experience in a bookstore that turned me into their biggest fan! A political statement in a bookstore window stopped me cold last week. Bold enough to cost them customers. I walked in. Inside, every book I pulled out was either already on my shelf or went straight to my wish list. The owner had curated a store that felt like it was built for me specifically. I did something I almost never...

Hi Reader, How are you doing on your new year's intentions? We're three weeks into the year and I am looking at my 10 commandments - my operating system for the year - and can't help noticing a pattern that keeps showing up at the intersection of three of them: I choose ease. I am obsessed with clarity. I put my shoes on (I don't wait for permission). I keep catching myself mid-sentence, correcting from "Shall we [...]?" to "Let's [...]." At first I was too slow. I'd hit send on "Shall we?"...

Dear Reader, What makes it difficult to call a mistake what it is? This week, I posted a list of some of my biggest business and podcast mistakes on LinkedIn and it went mini-viral with 300+ reactions. The post ended with: 'Some mistakes led to surprising outcomes. All led to a waste of time and money.' The comments were thoughtful - and revealed something. What caught my curiosity was the pushback on 'waste.' Many offered gentler words: investment, learning, growth. I chose 'waste'...