I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
When “Safe” Emotions Keep Us from Real Connection || 🎙️ Episode 294 with Learnings from Burning Man about Experience Design
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Hello dear Reader, All emotions involve vulnerability, but some emotions carry more risk than others. One of our general routines as as facilitators is to ask participants to open up and share. It's basically our business to encourage emotional honesty. And sometimes we forget into what complex territory we step into and invite them to — especially in corporate spaces, where being genuine can sometimes backfire. In corporate environments, I often hear emotions like “frustrated,” “misunderstood,” "disrespected," or “disappointed”. While they sound like emotions, they are actually not. These words function as protective language and act as shields for something deeper. Words like “I feel misunderstood” can stand in for insecurities or fears of not being valued. Saying “I feel disappointed” often softens the truth, masking frustration or even resentment. Similarly, “I feel disrespected” might point to a sense of isolation or feeling overlooked, but saying “disrespected” feels safer than revealing the more vulnerable need. These words hint at vulnerability without fully exposing it, allowing people to tread cautiously in emotionally charged spaces. These words are commonly used because they hint at vulnerability without really exposing it. Why do we do this? Because many of us have experienced moments where genuine emotion was met with misunderstanding, judgment, or worse, used against us. And so, we turn to “safer” expressions as a protective strategy. In our sessions, we create space for participants to move beyond these “safe” words and explore what lies beneath, giving them the opportunity to share more authentically if they’re ready. For example, we might gently encourage someone who says, “I feel frustrated,” to ask themselves, “What’s the need behind this feeling?” or “What would it take for me to feel fully heard?” This helps them bring clarity and courage to their expression, even when “being real” feels risky. Supporting participants to unpack these layers is one of the most valuable skills we can offer. While we can’t transform corporate culture in a single session, we can equip participants with tools for emotional clarity and self-protection — skills that will benefit them far beyond our time together. And if you’d like to explore the full spectrum of emotions in a playful, supportive environment, join me at the NDB Festival, where I’ll be hosting a session on this topic with my dear friend, Michelle Howard. Click here to reserve your ticket to the Festival. 🎙 Meanwhile, on the podcast… Burning Man is the ultimate expression of radical, creative trust. As 80,000 people from all over the world gather in the Nevada Desert, they join together on a blank canvas to co-create a utopia of art, community, culture and human spirit - leaving no trace that the event ever happened. In this sprawling temporary city of interactive installations, music, dance and expression, how do you grant creative freedom with the trust that everyone will keep the cultural essence of Burning Man alive? Rob Blakemore, the regional contact for the UK tells us all in this fascinating conversation! With collaboration, emergence and participation at the heart of this enigmatic event - facilitators, get ready to be inspired. Notes:
🔖 Click here to download my 1-page summary of the show. 🎧 Click here to listen to the interview Or, watch the unedited interview on Youtube: 🎡 Join the NDB Festival A Global Online Event to Refuel Your Creativity Join us for the final edition of the NDB Festival! Over 48 hours, facilitators worldwide will come together to explore bold, new approaches. 22 workshops and 6 dedicated networking opportunities. Don’t miss out on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to learn, connect, and push the boundaries of facilitation—because after this, there won’t be another NDB Festival! That's all from my side. Remember that I wrote and scheduled this email before leaving on a silent retreat. If you reply, I will get back to you after my return. Warm wishes for a healthy body and calm mind - to feel and to speak your emotions Myriam
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How can we facilitate collaboration?
I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
Dear Reader, How do you know whether the group you're speaking to is engaged or not? Last week I was facilitating a workshop on the basics of facilitation for a new community. I asked a question. Silence. Everyone stayed on mute. I tried another prompt. More silence. But people had their cameras on and smiled—they were clearly engaged, just not speaking. I've written about the sound of silence in facilitation, and this week Yuko shares the Japanese perspective on it in the podcast. But last...
Dear Reader, Do you avoid difficult conversations? The 'constructive' feedback? The cancellation of an appointment? The ask for a raise? If so, what's the story you tell yourself when you do? What if they won't like me? What if they get angry? What if they push back or shut down or accuse me of making things bigger than they are? What if they dismiss what I say? What if they think I'm the problem? What if I actually am??? As I've observed not only my own responses but those of participants in...
Dear Reader, What did you hide about yourself at work today? Recently, a client asked whether I could host a workshop. Normally, I’d check my calendar and if I am not available on that date, I'd respond with something neutral and suggesting alternatives. This time, I didn't need to check my calendar because I knew the reason I was unavailable. Without overthinking, I told them: “I won't be free that day because I’ll be at the municipality with my fiancée to register our wedding.” Within...