Dear Reader, I woke up annoyed. No specific dream I could remember, no meeting I dreaded, no real reason to point to — just a gritty frustration under my skin. I went for a workout, which usually helps. Not this time. Everything irritated me: the too-loud laughter of a neighbour, a slow cyclist, even the way the toothpaste tube had been squeezed. And yet, nothing had really happened. Luckily, my partner and I have an agreement that we name our weird or grumpy feelings as they show up without...
10 days ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, I’m on my way back from Southern France, where I spent the weekend focused on writing. Finally — I’m writing again on my "Unprofessionalism" book. Since I started this journey in January, I’ve thrown away five manuscripts because it didn't feel like the book I wanted to write. It hit me about two weeks ago and what I’ve been embarking on is anything but linear. So I spent the past two weeks on thinking and planning instead of writing. And I once again realised that I have an...
17 days ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, Last week, I spontaneously moved in with my partner. This might sound normal, especially since we just got engaged. But for a long time, I believed that the best relationships lived in two separate homes. That the magic was in choosing time together, not defaulting into it. And I still think that matters. The choosing does. What I’d forgotten is that cohabiting doesn’t mean letting go of choice. It just means you have to design for it. Not once, but continuously. You don’t just...
24 days ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, What do you do when they’re on their phones? In last week’s training I delivered, one of the participants shared how much it annoyed them when others used their phones during a session. It felt disrespectful, they said. We explored ways to handle it. One person suggested naming it in the ground rules. Someone offered a tactic to bring the group’s attention back. What stuck with me wasn’t the strategies — it was the phone itself. Or rather, the role it plays. Because I do it too....
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, So much for breaking the rules 🤪 I thought I was writing a book about unprofessionalism. Turns out, I’ve been writing it like the most professional professional ever. Somewhere between the index cards and the imposter syndrome, I lost the thread and the soul. The tough love from my book coach (thank you, Jane!) came like a velvet slap. She didn’t say anything I didn’t already know. But hearing she expected more made me admit it to myself: I hadn’t actually broken out of the...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, The sound of silence is filled with the whispers between our ears. The silence after sharing our strong opinion or a simple story that felt meaningful to us. The silence after asking a question. The silence before a breakthrough. The silence before we speak our truth. The silence before a laugh (the second of uncertainty whether we were funny or just weird). Sometimes, the silence can become so loud that it's difficult to ignore. The silence when we expected a reaction. And often...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, The shoemaker’s children go barefoot, the saying goes. And when I think of myself, I realise how often I forget all the coaching and facilitation skills the moment I take off my facilitator hat. I forget to ask questions. I stop listening to understand. Instead, I assume — and even interrupt. Oops. While this can hurt our relationships with others, they’re often rather forgiving. But what about the self-harm — the kind that happens when we talk to ourselves and call it...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, I’ve written many newsletters on the power of saying no and the value of setting boundaries. I've written very few on the beauty of saying yes. Last weekend, I said one - and heard one back: I proposed to my girlfriend. And she said yes. We’ve entered a new chapter. A new phase where the I turns into a we, and where the most private thing - a romantic relationship - suddenly becomes public. It feels like a significant shift because a lifelong commitment puts everything else into...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, Last Sunday, I ran a half marathon. For the first time, I had a clear target in mind: 2 hours and 2 minutes. I didn’t make it. I crossed the finish line in 2:07. Five minutes too slow. Two minutes faster than last time. I failed. And before you tell me that I'm being too harsh, let me assure you: I’m glad I did, because I’ve never learned more. This time, I didn’t just run but I really pushed myself. I pushed my legs and core, my focus and my mindset. And, I had to readjust my...
2 months ago • 2 min read