Dear Reader, For years, coaches and therapists have told me: "You need to sit with your emotions. Just feel them." I'd nod confused, slightly annoyed because nobody ever answered my two questions: What do I actually do when I sit with them? And then what (after we're done sitting)? It seemed as if I needed to process, understand, analyse, journal, dance it out—something. The magic step! Then came the card game. I was playing with my partner. Great cards in my hand, I was going to win. Until...
9 days ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, Have you ever noticed how your body knows you're trying to please someone before you do? It hit me when I was sitting in the coaching chair, across from my colleague Mark Walsh. Within minutes we notice something I hadn’t realised: my body is leaning forward, eager, as if I was rushing ahead of myself. That forward-lean isn’t just posture. That's the manifestation of people pleasing. And I thought I was 'recovering' 😅 I used to consider people-pleasing a minor issue, harmless,...
17 days ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, How do you know when it’s time to let go of something that still works? Closing NeverDoneBefore almost a year ago was one of the hardest decisions I’ve made. Nothing was broken, but I could feel it was time. Letting it go created space for new things to emerge: my business is growing, and I finally have the time and energy to write Unprofessionalism. And the more time I spend writing, the more I seek conversations that weave into that theme: how to be more human at work? How to...
24 days ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, Have you ever learned something completely new, only to realise it was teaching you more about the things you already knew? I signed up for a novel-writing course that hammers one point over and over: show, don’t tell. Don’t say a character is nervous. Let their twitching eye, their shallow breath, their bitten nails speak instead. Trust the reader to make sense of it. What a challenge. My instinct - shaped by academia, running a training business, and wanting to write...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, What if growing smaller actually meant growing stronger? This question came to mind when my newsletter provider announced a significant fee increase (based on the number of subscribers). I've been obsessed with numbers believing that more is merrier and more followers or subscribers means more reach. But just because we are sending a message doesn't mean someone receives it. I've learned from years of facilitation that just because we're sending a message doesn't mean someone...
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, Do you have a sense of community in your work? Working solo can feel isolating, which is why many freelancers seek out peer groups. But even in a team, it’s easy to feel lonely. Most conversations are about the what: what needs doing, by when, by who. Important, yes, but not very connecting. Today, in an All Hands meeting with my associates, all freelancers, I was reminded what community feels like. And it wasn’t because of icebreakers or formal bonding. It came from what we...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
Dear Reader, Nothing tests a fresh insight faster than walking through your own front door.... I literally just stepped through the door, coming back from a week-long retreat with Mr Embodiment, Mark Walsh (you might remember him from podcast 282). As I was writing, it struck me: I was doing the exact opposite of what I’d taken away from the retreat, and what I was about to write about 🤯 Instead of arriving properly - making tea, changing into comfortable clothes, maybe just breathing for a...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, When was the last time your ceiling became your new ground? It just happened to me and it feels like a milestone. Literally! About three years ago, before my first half-marathon, everything felt like a big deal: the tapering, the nerves, the diet, the sleepless night before. 21.1 km was the goal, and it was my ceiling. I never ran for longer.... Until Thursday. I broke my record and ran 23 km. It’s the fourth week in a row I’ve logged a half marathon distance as part of my...
about 2 months ago • 3 min read
Dear Reader, How much of yourself do you leave at the office door? For my book about (un)professionalism, I am currently researching the concept of authenticity. And when I read yet another article suggesting leaders not to be authentic, I almost lost it! Leaders shouldn’t bring their whole selves to work. An academic article even advices practicing strategic authenticity not to compromise your professional image 🤯 Share just enough of your “real self” to look genuine, while keeping the rest...
2 months ago • 2 min read