Hi Reader, For one year, I have been preparing for the marathon that is scheduled for this Sunday. I put the mileage in, watched my diet, cross-trained other muscles, invested in the gear and invested the time and energy. And then my body sent me a sign. My back went three times in one week (in German we call it a Hexenschuss, a witch’s shot - how fitting!), which meant days of immobility when I couldn’t even tie my own shoelaces. Each time it got better and I tried to get back on my feet,...
15 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Last weekend I left a workshop in full drag make-up, wondering who I was. The Archives of Amsterdam had organised it, and I knew a bit about drag from having Charlie Robertson on the podcast (highly recommended, click here to play). He taught me about "work drag": the suit, the meeting voice, the confidence we perform at work. My transformation happened slowly, layer after layer of primer, foundation, highlights and shadows. I looked different for sure, but the transformation only...
29 days ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, Does it sound fair to consider the wedding one of the most professional moments in one's private life? One could fill pages with written and unwritten rules, things we must do and cannot do. There are speeches with expected lengths, rituals nobody can explain the origin of and everybody would notice missing, a part of our bank account that behaves like a project budget, and over all of it the sentence the most beautiful day of your life! It's not even a wish. It's a specification....
about 1 month ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, "Wife?" In my first client call after getting married, I referred to "my wife". Until then, I had always said "my partner". I used to tell myself that was the word for professional settings. Neutral. Safe. No risk of weird looks or noticeable pauses. Now I notice that wasn't quite true. With some clients I did say "her". With others I didn't. I read the room each time and chose the option that didn't risk judgement, or a change in how they saw me. So when I said "my wife", I...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, I was ill last week. Three days, stuck to my bed, not even considering a run. This almost never happens. I don't get ill. Until I do. When I finally went out for a walk, somewhere between my front door and the next corner, it hit me like a stick on the head: what if I slowed down the podcast? Before any sensible objection could arrive, I felt excited. Liberated, to be honest. In seven years of podcasting it had never once occurred to me that I could just decide to slow it down. To...
2 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, A screen full of black rectangles with names in the middle. That's who I was speaking to last week: a training on how to handle challenging conversations... Not really a topic we can learn while we're only half there. And I said so, out loud, at the start. I pulled out all the tricks and it still took 45 minutes before a brave participant said what most of the room had been thinking: "I really appreciate you and the content, but most of us didn't choose to be here. It's a mandatory...
3 months ago • 3 min read
Hi Reader, One of the biggest challenges I'm facing right now is hearing clients wonder whether to replace live workshops with AI-powered, self-guided learning — which is basically upgraded e-learning. My first instinct was to become even better, more polished, more structured, more ... professional. But then it hit me. The response to that threat must lie at the opposite end of the spectrum, by which I don't mean lower quality but more humanity. This might result in more messiness and I...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, When I fell in love with a woman four years ago, I decided it wouldn't change anything about who I was. I had been with men all my life, and now I was with a woman. End of story. Nobody's business who I sleep with. That's the story I told myself until this year when my good friend Laura spoke about cultural aspects of queerness: how being queer shapes far more of us than our sexuality, and how many gay people go through very similar journeys without noticing. As a side-story, I...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Hi Reader, I am German, living in Amsterdam, and after almost a decade my Dutch is — as we say in German — too small to live and too big to die. To change that, I'm officially out of office this week to immerse myself in a full-week intensive Dutch class. And to make it compleet, my partner and I agreed to only speak Dutch at home during this week, hopefully building the routine of speaking Dutch with each other from now on. While stuttering like a ten-year-old, I realise how much we attach...
3 months ago • 2 min read