I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
Expressing Anger || Episode 343 on Trust, Values and Change: Holger Nauheimer's Dialogue with AI
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Dear Reader, For years, coaches and therapists have told me: "You need to sit with your emotions. Just feel them." I'd nod confused, slightly annoyed because nobody ever answered my two questions:
It seemed as if I needed to process, understand, analyse, journal, dance it out—something. The magic step! Then came the card game. I was playing with my partner. Great cards in my hand, I was going to win. Until she made a completely legal move and stole one of my cards. The best one, of course. And then she did it again. I felt the anger rise through my entire body. Heat flooding up from my core. My chest getting tight and stiff. My jaw clenching. I was furious - over a card game! With someone I love! About something that didn't matter at all!!! I felt angry like a child and absolutely ridiculous at the same time. This time though, instead of sucking it up, I expressed how angry I was, exactly where I felt it in my body, describing its path. I ended up laughing. The anger released. And the, I could see it clearly: this was a ghost from the past showing up uninvited. My brain connecting old memories that had nothing to do with the present moment, with this person, with these cards. Believe it or not: Since that moment, I haven't felt that kind of anger again. We've played the same game. The same moves have happened. But instead of rage, I feel calm. Focused. Present. So what changed? I finally understood what "sitting with an emotion" actually means: Observing it. Allowing it to be there. Without judging it. Without needing it to explain itself. That's it. No magic required. While I cannot explain why this works, the good news is, I don't need to. The emotion knew what to do all along. I just had to stop getting in its way. 🎙 Meanwhile, on the podcast…Can an AI bot really become a co-facilitator? Returning to the show with a new book co-authored by artificial intelligence and an AI sidekick named Nyx, is Holgar Nauheimer. After 30 years building a facilitation legacy, Holgar shares a glimpse into his latest phase of life: his companionship with his sparring sidekick Nyx. Shaped by hundreds of questions, facilitation musings, and workshop challenges, she’s become his creative consultant and trusted confidante – freeing him to become a better facilitator. Present, attentive, and fully connected to the people! If you think AI is making us lazy, this conversation might just change your mind. Find out about:
🎧 Click here to listen to the interview📥 Check out my 1-page summary 👀 Watch the unedited interview on Youtube 🚧 Podcast RebrandingFrom January 2026, the workshops work podcast will become the Unprofessionalism podcast and you can help me shape it in two ways:
That’s it from my side! I hope you enjoy the content and find inspiration in the stories and the podcast. I wish you a week of letting things move — without needing to understand why. I’ll see you next week! Myriam
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How can we facilitate collaboration?
I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
Dear Reader, I said yes. Too quickly. Again. And here I am, looking at the pile of broken glass, wondering what I could have done differently. Isn't it ironic that I'm a facilitator who literally teaches people how to work together. And still, I fell into the oldest trap in the book. Someone invited me to collaborate on something exciting. I felt flattered. My gut told me to slow down, to have a real conversation about how we'd work together. But I didn't want to be the difficult one....
Dear Reader, How do you know whether the group you're speaking to is engaged or not? Last week I was facilitating a workshop on the basics of facilitation for a new community. I asked a question. Silence. Everyone stayed on mute. I tried another prompt. More silence. But people had their cameras on and smiled—they were clearly engaged, just not speaking. I've written about the sound of silence in facilitation, and this week Yuko shares the Japanese perspective on it in the podcast. But last...
Dear Reader, Do you avoid difficult conversations? The 'constructive' feedback? The cancellation of an appointment? The ask for a raise? If so, what's the story you tell yourself when you do? What if they won't like me? What if they get angry? What if they push back or shut down or accuse me of making things bigger than they are? What if they dismiss what I say? What if they think I'm the problem? What if I actually am??? As I've observed not only my own responses but those of participants in...