I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
Voices in Heads ๐ || Episode 343 on the Paradox of Professional Facilitation with Vinay Kumar
|
Dear Reader, Do you know this voice in your head second guessing your behaviour in the last meeting?? Last week, I joined my first team meeting with a new collaborator. I knew they were good with boundaries, the kind of person who states clearly what doesn't work for them. So I showed up as myself. I added ideas, asked questions, even challenged one of theirs. The meeting went well. We got things done. And then I left the call and my monkey-mind kicked in. Did I take up too much space? Was I too much? Could I have been more curious? Listen more? It was our first time working together!!! I actually started drafting a message to check in. 'Hey, I hope I wasn't overstepping in the meeting...' Then I stopped. Because I realised: This is what psychological safety feels like in action. We challenged each other's ideas. Nobody got defensive. Nobody took it personally. If I had overstepped, they would have told me. That's what I knew about them. That's why I felt safe enough to show up fully in the first place. In the end, my ideas were implemented. The collaboration works. So here is the learning: We don't need years to develop psychological safety on a team. We don't need climbing parks or deep knowledge of each other's childhoods. What we need is the trust that if something is wrong, we'll tell each other. That's it. That simple agreement saves us from so much overthinking. It saves us from staying quiet when we have something to say. It saves us from sending those anxious check-in messages at 10pm. When you know someone will speak up if you've crossed a line, you can stop managing their feelings in your head. You can stop filling in the blanks with worst-case scenarios. You can just... show up. And when they know the same about you, they can do the same. My wish is that more teams would trade careful and polite for direct and candid so that 'that doesn't work for me' becomes a normal sentence instead of a confrontation. How much creative capacity would we have left if we didn't have to read between the lines because there's nothing between the lines ๐คทโโ๏ธ ๐ Meanwhile, on the podcastโฆIf a facilitator goes unseen, are they any less present? This is the beautiful paradox of facilitation: as we grow more adept in our craft, our presence in the room becomes less noticeable โ less needed โ because weโve subtly set the magic of facilitation into motion. Master of his craft Vinay Kumar knows this only too well. When you relinquish control, place your trust in the group, and set the stage for emergence to unfold, the space begins to hold itself โ sometimes in unexpected ways. Join us as we go meta on facilitation and Vinay shares the stories and life lessons heโs learnt with generous warmth and wisdom. Find out about:
๐ง Click here to listen to the interview๐ฅ Check out my 1-page summaryโ ๐ Watch the unedited interview on Youtubeโโ โ ๐ง Behind the scenesFrom January 2026, the workshops work podcast will become the Unprofessionalism podcast and you can help me shape it in two ways:
โ Thatโs it from my side! I hope you enjoy the content and find inspiration in the stories and the podcast. I wish you a week of saying whatโs true: kindly and clearly. I'll see you next week. Myriam โ
|
How can we facilitate collaboration?
I'm a recovering academic who uses her insights from behavioural economics to develop methods that facilitate collaboration. In my weekly newsletter, I share the summary of my latest interview on the "workshops work" podcast along with an application of facilitation as a life and leadership skill.
Dear Reader, I said yes. Too quickly. Again. And here I am, looking at the pile of broken glass, wondering what I could have done differently. Isn't it ironic that I'm a facilitator who literally teaches people how to work together. And still, I fell into the oldest trap in the book. Someone invited me to collaborate on something exciting. I felt flattered. My gut told me to slow down, to have a real conversation about how we'd work together. But I didn't want to be the difficult one....
Dear Reader, How do you know whether the group you're speaking to is engaged or not? Last week I was facilitating a workshop on the basics of facilitation for a new community. I asked a question. Silence. Everyone stayed on mute. I tried another prompt. More silence. But people had their cameras on and smiledโthey were clearly engaged, just not speaking. I've written about the sound of silence in facilitation, and this week Yuko shares the Japanese perspective on it in the podcast. But last...
Dear Reader, Do you avoid difficult conversations? The 'constructive' feedback? The cancellation of an appointment? The ask for a raise? If so, what's the story you tell yourself when you do? What if they won't like me? What if they get angry? What if they push back or shut down or accuse me of making things bigger than they are? What if they dismiss what I say? What if they think I'm the problem? What if I actually am??? As I've observed not only my own responses but those of participants in...